Saturday 30 November 2002

Belfast Harlequins 5XV      17

Cooke 3XV                              5

It was a big day at Deramore on Saturday with all the modern razzmatazz associated with big matches. There was a buzz in the air and a genuine expectation of witnessing fast flowing, champagne rugby for only £6! However some must have felt short changed having not been instructed that the game of the day was on the far pitch where the 5s added a touch of class to the entertainment by balancing the home sides' results with a third win in a row this season.

Having humbled the Master Race three games ago the 5s accounted for their Landlords this week. A Friday night recce to Shaw's Bridge resulted in getting hold of Cooke's team sheet prior to the match. How this carefully guarded information was to benefit us was uncertain, and the game plan still remained simply to try and end up having more points on the board than they had at the end. The information did however give warning that the notorious Cooke back-row was there and no doubt baying for blood. Throughout the game it was confirmed this info was reliable.

Unperturbed by the PA system blasting the "Ketchup Song" around Deramore we underwent our usual preparation of consuming cigarettes and Lucozade, and applying rolls of masking tape and Vaseline to anything not covered by kit and body armour. This, combined with our usual pre-match team talking of finding out what everyone did last night and the advice of 'don't leave valuables in the changing room', provided little optimism for overcoming our normal slow start to a match. Usually finding ourselves two scores down in the first few minutes, we completely shocked our lone supporter by taking an early lead when our backs' defence held firm and produced a spill. This unleashed our three-quarters, and Rob fly hacked through, out paced their cover, controlled the ball and touched down for a score. With hardly enough time gone for our kicker to get out of breath, the conversion was uncharacteristically completed successfully.

Within 5 minutes of the re-start the Cooke back-row came off the scrum like a guided missile and produced what could have been the tackle of the day if our outhalf hadn't actually offloaded the ball ages beforehand. Committed to the tackle? B****cks! By this time the kicker was puffed out, battered and bruised and duly missed the resultant penalty and every other kick thereafter for that matter. Normal pathetic kicking practice had resumed.

Luckily this week kicks were not to be the decisive factor. Soon Ally was to get his name on the score sheet, when following a chip ahead he sprinted clear, controlled the ball with some neat footwork and touched down for another try.

The rest of the first half produced a physical midfield battle although both teams had their chances. There were some excellent parts with good ball handling that defied the wet conditions. However the match remained at a favourable 12-0 at the turnaround.

Traditionally the 5s play better in the second half and were intent on increasing the point tally and burying this team who have beaten us for the last two seasons. This would have been the case had Cooke also not dug deep and come out battling even harder than before for the league points. Throughout the second half both sides played a hard game with tackles raining in from all angles and this meant the score kept unchanged for some time. Both sides came close to scoring and it was quite end-to-end at times, but last ditched tackles and some errors prevented either team scoring until Chris Magowan decided to go it alone. Not exactly our biggest player Chris took a quick tap penalty on the Cooke 22, and ran through those players retiring the required yardage before somehow managing to crash over the try line and emerge from under a mass of Cooke players with a big cheesy grin and the team 5 points better off.

Maintaining discipline and locking down the game was then the order of the day. Our forwards continued a brilliant display throughout and outmatched a very aggressive onslaught from Cooke's pack, which was their main threat. Pete Stewart returned for this game and was exceptional in a mature performance that blended our fast breakaway forwards with our rock solid front players perfectly. Again our backline, which last season had leaked tries, held firm and there was no way through for Cooke with Barney Leitch in particular putting in crunching tackle after tackle.

Our halfbacks pinned Cooke into the corners with demoralising kicks and Cooke never thereafter looked like getting any reward for a spirited effort. However, about 5 yards from our own line, our scrum was expected to yet again produce clean ball for a clearance kick. At this stage their flanker, who along with his other back row players had been up to all sorts of shenanigans throughout, decided the only way to penetrate our defence was to cheat. In true Neil Back fashion he stripped Chris of the ball just as he was about to put it into the scrum. A quick turnover and pick-up occurred and with our players completely taken by surprise they touched down to allegations concerning their integrity that are not repeatable. The ref who was seemingly unsighted from the offence awarded a try. It was a disappointing manner to have our heavily guarded try line violated but at the end of the day the 5s were the better side and wound down the clock without any further fuss.

Two league points are important but not just that, this excellent display by the 5s should mean a good season is in store. There was not one player who could have given more and all players can be proud of their performance. Man of the Match or Dick of the Day were hard to be awarded. Pete, Eddie, and Cooper all had terrific games and no-one had a poor game. In the end Cooper was M-O-M. We have become used to his dominance in the lineout, strength in the scrum/ruck/maul, and quickness to the break down. However, this week he put in a number of decisive big hits that really swung the vote in his favour. Funnily enough, he also received the Dick of the Day award for a moment of madness at the base of a ruck when he seemed to think that he was playing American football and fired the ball out 10 feet from between his legs to a non-existent quarter back. This was however the only blemish on an outstanding performance.

5s Debutante Chris Clarke, who thankfully replaced those strange O'Neill's shorts and invested in the correct attire, had a very solid game on the wing. He is yet another player who has stepped into the side and really proved himself. Not the first GAA convert to have done so this season, it would be advisable for the club to encourage / target more of these GAA types to join us - a very skilful yet hardy lot.

Thanks to Tom Montgomery for again running the line and those that slowly drifted over to be entertained properly and to lend support.

Team: 1. Mark McCartney, 2. Stephen Uprichard, 3. Darren McCartney, 4. Pete Stewart, 5. Richard Cooper, 6. Eddie Wilson, 7. Wally Weatherup, 8. Chick Chalmers, 9. Chris Magowan, 10. Roger Gilpin, 11. Ally McCulloch, 12. Rob Calvert, 13. Barney Leitch, 14. Chris Clarke, 15. Marcus Cummings.

Man of the Match: Richard Cooper