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With an all new rule banning smoking after 2.15 pm, the 5th XV took the field for the first time this season at Cherryvale to play a very fit looking Lisburn 2's. With the sun splitting the trees and in extremely heavy shirts, our ever-athletic bunch broke sweat by jogging from the changing room to the first pitch. A dander to the far pitch then ensued. The team manager was stationed on duty to prevent any one ducking into the bushes for a smoke while Lisburn produced their final two players.

Not deterred by such delaying tactics and gamesmanship from Lisburn, the 5s started well and early pressure by Harlequins suggested that we may just get our first ever start of season win. Only a last ditch cover tackle prevented Rob Calvert going in for a score in the corner and Ally just missed out on the other wing. The pack threw their weight about well and was masterful in scrums and loose play.

Midway through the first half legs started to tire. Even though sweat started to blind the eyes it was very clear to see that Lisburn's backline was indeed not just fit, but very fast. Ably assisted by a certain ex-NIFC traitor who flanked for them, they ran in a try which to be honest was disappointing due to our ability to combine being out of position with not being able to keep up with them. One of their scores actually came from a missed touch when the referee was playing advantage to us for Lisburn being offside. Very strange decision.

To be fair to our boys the 5s fought back and produced a couple of well taken tries. Pete Stewart, debuting at prop, completed a storming series of play when we recycled the ball at least 6 times (yes 6 times!!) finally bulldozing over for a converted score.

As things became more frantic Graeme Steele started to pick up injuries which enforced a switch to wing. Not able to get away from the play he was soon collared by a couple of Lisburn tacklers and a serious back injury rendered Steeler unable to move. Ever ready, Barry rushed on to attend to the outstretched player and performed the ancient medical treatment of squirting water on his back. Normally a miraculous recovery follows such an application but alas on this occasion Graeme had to leave the field in agony.

Although reduced to 14, the 5th's continued to show true grit and looked to be upping their game to compensate for the loss of a player. Then on the stroke of half-time with the Lisburn try line at our mercy, a snap decision to run a penalty from deep inside our own half led to a fumbled pass and a converted score under the posts for Lisburn.

Re-grouping at half time the 5's rallied their spirits by glugging gallons of water and moaning about all and sundry. With attitudes now sharpened, a new will to win took over. This, coupled with a new game plan of keeping the ball well away from their speedy backs led to a serious fight back.

However, a couple of mistakes led to their backs getting the ball and they duly flew down the pitch to score with some unsporting whooping and hollering. Strange lot those Lisburn 2's. As if this would demoralise us!!! In reply our very own "Mobile Support Unit" let loose on their pack and left a couple of them rubbing very sore faces. One even seemed to be suffering from the same affliction as Steeler when he allegedly received a dig in the Kidneys. The old water squirting medicine seemed to work on the Lisburn player, so he must have been faking it.

Following an unconverted try by Craig Henderson who crashed over for Harlequins, we applied relentless pressure for the remainder of the match, only needing a converted try to level the score. Play after play the 5s recycled the ball, which at times may even have reached double figures. Our Backs also started to get the measure of theirs, when finally Chick surged through their defence and with one man to beat linked up with Ally who surely would have raced in unopposed for a score. However, in the heat of battle Chick forgot that if Ally was to catch the ball, his pass needed to be a lot nearer to him and above ground level. Drawing even more attention to himself Chick collapsed, beating the ground, and wailing obscenities about himself.

Out of despair hope was again renewed. Never taking the foot off the pedal Harlequins pounded the Lisburn defence and in places they started to crack. With about 1 minute to go, tempers were rising and as Lisburn became frantic to keep out the continuous onslaught by the 5s, one of their players whacked Big Roger. Blood bursting from eye he was not happy with such treatment to say the least, and looked intent on getting revenge. The 5s channelled all their aggression into one final effort. Lisburn were completely bowled over by this newfound strength and it resulted in a well taken forwards try midway between touch and the posts. It was all down to the final kick of the game, which after much composure drifted wide of the posts, and Lisburn were cock-a-hoop as the final whistle also sounded. I am sure they were more delighted not to be staying on the pitch any longer, as The Frew and Co were ready for more action.

Although somewhat disappointed by the result it was a reasonable first performance of the season. In true 5s style the after match shenanigans started in the changing room and continued back at the Pavilion for some time.

Team: 1. D McCartney, 2. S Uprichard, 3. P Stewart, 4. R Cooper, 5. R Frew, 6. E Wilson, 7. S Weatherup, 8. G Chalmers, 9. M Martin, 10. R Gilpin, 11. R Calvert, 12. C Henderson, 13. G Steele, 14. A McCulloch, 15. M Cummings.

Man of the Match: Eddie Wilson

Dick of the Day: Chick Chalmers

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