Saturday 12 April 2003

Belfast Harlequins 5XV               29

Royal Hospitals (London) XV     12

Our final game of the season was an early kick-off and against a younger and much fitter, team of touring medical student. We were hoping that the excesses from their excursion to the Fly the previous night would mean that their senses would be dulled enough to narrow the fitness difference. This hope was dispelled when we turned up at Deramore to find that they had been warming up and running moves for about an hour before kick-off. At the same time we were trying to find a set of shirts never mind enough players to fill them.

Having finally located 15 players we took the field and from the first passage of play we went 5 nil down. Running the ball from inside their own 22, the students outstripped our defence with ease and left us in the sand and dust of the appalling 1st XV pitch. Shortly after that they stole a lineout in our own 22 and barged over from a short distance to score again. The conversion was added and this was shaping up to being a very long day.

However, the poor students started to tire themselves, mostly due to our roly-poly tactics and the look on their front row’s faces at the scrums was a picture. This was quite possibly the heaviest 5th XV to take the field this season as the front 5 forwards’ combined weight must have been close to 100 Stone. Needless to say the scrums were not a problem at all.

Having settled down a bit we made headway into their half and retained good possession. Humesy, Greg and debutant David Boyd added mobility to the pack and were basically the only forwards who actually ran faster than walking pace. Following some support play David Boyd crashed over for our first unconverted score. The tide had turned and shortly after this David Boyd picked up from a set piece and again crashed over for a (rare) converted try.

Just before half time a rejuvenated Martin Malseed showed up in the backline at a short penalty near their goal line. He took a pass, careered off a goal post (who put that there?) and barged over the line for a well taken score. It is unlikely that the students have ever seen a player so intent to cross a goal line never mind one the size of Marty. This try was later recounted many times in the bar and at the last hearing had been embellished to have involved a heroic charge from our own 22 and involved a series of dummies, shimmies and brilliant lines of running. You can decide for yourself what was the likely scenario.

19-12 at half time was a good scoreline given our pathetic start but the students were always dangerous if they got the ball with a bit of space. The Arena is a big pitch and this did not help our cause as most of us were punctured just trying to keep up with them. However by the second half our bulk had tired them and they started to bring on subs.

The game at this point became a lot more entertaining and our backline started to put some nice moves together and Ally McCulloch soon scored with ease. The result was never in doubt by this stage and a scrum in the middle of the pitch saw the backline line up directly behind the scrum and each other, before breaking right which gave Ally some room to outstretch their defence before cutting back inside, beating a number of players to score the last try near the posts. All in all this match was a good way to close the season and give games to some players previously unused by the 5s.

The Man of the Match award was awarded to David Boyd, a new Quin who will be joining after he leaves Sullivan in the summer, for not just scoring a brace of tries but for being our most mobile forward, putting in some great tackles, and being our only effective lineout jumper. Well done indeed, but it is unlikely that the 5s will be able to hold onto a player of his ability. Although this award was unanimous there was a notable performance from Humesy who never missed a tackle and got stuck in from the start. Martin Malseed also had his best game any of the players had witnessed. He scored a try, added gamesmanship by sitting on their players to keep them from getting to the next play, supported our players very well and was a constant threat with ball in hand. He did however manage to stamp on the refs foot and, having landed heavily on a ruck, led to Chris Magowan’s early departure with an injury.

Dick of the day could have been awarded to Pete Stewart for his conversion attempt when he skyed a drop kick and ball came down both short and wide of the posts. However, the only real contender was Ally McCulloch who was put clear for a try by a chip ahead from Fergy. About to dribble the ball over the line to gather it for an easy touch down, Ally managed to trip on the ball, which resembled one of those Brazilian football tricks where the ball is flicked over your head, and the ball went back towards the 22 line. No score, egg on his face, and Ally received his first ever Dick of the Day Award.

Team: 1. Mark McCartney, 2. Stephen Uprichard, 3. Martin Malseed, 4. Pete Stewart, 5. Scott Knight, 6. Greg Kidd, 7. Gary Hume, 8. David Boyd, 9. Chris Magowan, 10. Roger Gilpin (Captain), 11. Willy Elder (replaced by Fergy), 12. Graham Cloke, 13. Rob Calvert, 14. Paddy Craig, 15. Ally McCulloch.